BREAKING: Doris Whitcombe, 81, from Chislehurst didn’t expect to remove her shoes in public before 10am and neither did anyone else!

 Visitors to the newly opened Bramblewick & Lower Puddlecombe Heritage Railway were left confused, shoeless and slightly damp this weekend after management introduced full airport style security screening for anyone boarding or leaving the platform.

The unexpected measures appeared without warning on Saturday morning, complete with plastic trays, metal detectors, handheld scanners and several very serious looking volunteers wearing high visibility vests and expressions normally reserved for international departures.

Passengers hoping to enjoy a gentle ride behind the railway’s pride and joy, a gleaming LMS Black 5 steam locomotive, instead found themselves queuing politely while being instructed to remove belts, shoes, watches, loose change, sandwiches and in one case a suspiciously large fruit cake.

Local heritage rail fanatic Barry “The Bribe” Wainwright, 62, of Number 14 Rosehip Close, has successfully launched the UK’s first fully negotiated multi garden miniature railway after allegedly “reaching mutually beneficial financial arrangements” with every neighbour on the line.

The ambitious rail project runs a full circuit through six adjoining back gardens on Acacia Row, briefly crossing Mrs Patel’s begonias, narrowly missing Dave’s barbecue, and passing directly behind Sharon’s ornamental gnome collection, all thanks to what Barry describes as “community spirit and a few well placed incentives.”